Lenten Routines For Children

Just My Two Cents

I am just a mom. I am just a layperson. Always talk to your priest.

There are as many different ways to walk your children through Lent as there are Orthodox families - really. I’ll just share what we are doing with our children, and maybe it can be a jumping off point for your own family. Some of this might work for you, and some of it might not. So take what works, and leave the rest. And by all means, I’d love to hear what other families are doing, too. As children get older, these traditions we begin in our families need to grow with them (and I’m usually a little behind our older kids).

Whatever you do with your children for Great Lent is really building on what you do with them during non-fasting seasons. So start from there. We always start our school days with morning prayers and some kind of reading and discussion, so that’s our starting point. We added St Ephrem’s Prayer to our regular morning prayers, and our youngest absolutely loves doing the prostrations (I mean, Orthodox burpees - I can’t resist). Instead of reading and discussing The Law of God (our current “usual”), we are reading the Potamitis book Lenten Ocean Paschal River. Our discussion so far this year has focused mostly on why we fast. It’s so easy to see fasting as the end instead of the means, so it’s vital, I think, to really drive home that we fast because (which Saint said this? anyone?) sin enters through our bellies. For those who haven’t heard that before, basically, it means that if we can’t even deny the flesh basic foods, how can we possibly expect ourselves to deny the more intoxicating passions of greed, lust, gluttony, jealousy, anger, gossip? Food is the easy part (as hard as it is).

So what do I teach them as they really start getting into fasting? Fasting is meaningless without prayer. If we fast, but we fight with our family members, the fasting is void. If we fast, but we don’t honor our parents, the fasting is void. If we fast, but we are jealous of the ice cream our non-Orthodox friends are eating, well, I get it. We are to fast from sin as much as we are able, with God’s help. This is always, of course, but what is the fast without that introspective rooting out of sin in our sick souls? And how can we heal and grow closer to God without repentance?

I always want to bring our children to confession at least monthly, but time flies too fast for me, and we are entering the stage of Saturday sports, and I have to figure out how to make it a priority. Bringing them to confession during Great Lent is non-negotiable, though (for me). Ancient Faith has a great book or children to help them learn that confession - which can certainly feel awkward for kids - is there to help us along our journey. I always tell my kids that I feel so much better after a good confession. It really is medicine for our souls. I usually have to remind them that Father won’t be mad at them, and he won’t yell (basically, he’s not like me, haha), and he’s really only there to help all of us.

I have some other tools on the way for our older children. I ordered the Date With A Special Book bundle from Draw Near Designs for our teen daughter, and found a nice prayer rope made by a monk in Greece, on etsy, for our oldest son. I haven’t found a Lenten book geared towards middle school boys yet (got one? Please comment!). Our younger children love the Lady Lent tradition, and we have the fabric wall hanger from Draw Near Designs (I might shop there a lot), and the children take turns removing a foot for each Sunday of Lent after Sunday dinners, and we make sure to reinforce the Gospel lesson for that day when they do this. You could also use your advent wreath if you have one - that’s something else I add some years.

The other thing we are doing is purging the material weight we accumulate. We’ll spend Great Lent looking for toys, books and clothing we’ve outgrown or stopped using and sort them into things that still have life left, and things that aren’t good enough to donate. Please don’t donate socks with holes to shelters, folks. If it’s not good enough for you to wear, it’s not good enough for homeless folks, either. Give needy folks their dignity. It’s a hard enough pill to swallow to have to wear someone else’s used clothing. I’ll get off my soapbox now. Some parishes participate in the National Baby Shower, and some parishes will do something else, making much easier to give alms. So see what your parish offers, too.

Take what works for you, and leave the rest. If you start with an early car ride and prayers there as we do some days, there are some fantastic podcasts out there that can stand in for readings. My kids enjoy listening to Fr Alexis and Daily Orthodox Scriptures. If your kids are older, maybe pray the Psalter together as a family for Lent. There really are a million different ways to practice asceticism as a family during Lent. Bite off what you can chew so you don’t burn out; it’s a long season. But fear not: Pascha is coming. Take a penny, leave a penny - what’s a Lenten tradition in your family that you’d like to share? I’d love to hear from you!